I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA ZIKA ZIK-AH
When Rory McIlroy cried off competing at the Rio Olympics due to concerns over Zika virus, he could hardly have predicted what would unfold.
McIlroy – and his dittomen in Irish golf Graeme McDowell and Shane Lowry – gave the tournament a miss over concerns the virus could interfere with fertility.
All three men, presumably, were eager to conceive within weeks of hypothetical exposure to the virus in Rio and weren't prepared to take any undue risks.
They were much-criticised for their individual stances, by no less a figure that Padraig Harrington, who inferred McDowell and Lowry were 'sheep' for eagerly following their more-famous cohort's lead.
Little were they to know that a more toxic virus was to infect the big sports day on the beach, and its main source of contamination was little old Ireland.
There was little in the way of alarm when Kevin Mallon, an executive of Dublin-registered THG Sports, was arrested in Brazil on suspicions of illegally selling tickets under the guise of 'hospitality' packages.
THG – a subsidiary of the Marcus Evans Group, Evans being the owner of the retirement home for Irish international footballers, Ipswich Town – had been investigated during the 2014 World Cup in Brazil and wasn't retained for the finals.
Instead, three men involved with Pro 10, including a former League of Ireland club manager and two associates of the same club, were named alongside Olympic Council of Ireland CEO Pat Hickey when Hickey was arrested in Rio.
And he wasn't long in joining Mallon in a cell in Rio's notorious Bangu 10 prison.
Brazilians are no strangers to corruption – Transparency International ranks it the 76th most trustworthy country in the world, compared to Ireland's 18th – but it has a different character to the Irish version.
While Ireland might see itself as a fellow victim of European colonialism, to Brazilians like Romario, the brazen fashion with which tickets were resold through Irish companies as 'hospitality' packages was all too familiar.
Irish officialdom was firmly within the sights of Brazilian authorities in the lead-up to the Games, and Hickey being arrested in the nip in a thousand-dollar-a-night hotel room is all too revealing (and gruesome) an image.
No accusations have been proven against any of the men named by Brazilian police, but what is clear is that Irish officialdom has been under investigation by authorities there for at least a year.
What's also clear is that the success, even if not in the form of medals, of dedicated athletes like Annalise Murphy, the O'Donovan brothers, Natalya Coyle and Tom Barr has been overshadowed by events behind the scenes.
That families of athletes like Fionn Lynch and Barr had to look to the re-sale market to get tickets for their respective events, while Irish officialdom is being investigated for re-selling tickets, is a further insult.
Hickey, it is well-documented, rose to his prominent position within the OCI by capturing the support of smaller sports whose vote was worth the same as the major players like boxing and athletics.
It's cause for thought for those whose passion lies outside of the (largely) amateur sports that make up the Olympics.
FROM THE ECHO CHAMBER
Looking forward to Michael O'Neill's opinion on Kilduff diving to try and get his team into the group stages— Karl Reilly (@HistoryLOI) August 17, 2016
Rovers fan took a banner and ran onto the pitch ???????????? https://t.co/KdMZvI0oCo— Athlone Town Fc Fans (@AthloneTownFans) August 19, 2016
Serious amount of United jerseys coming out of John Doyle's in Phibsboro just now, and bohs playing in person LITERALLY across the road— Eoin Smith (@EoinSmith3) August 19, 2016
In last 5 games for club/country, Shane Duffy has had 2 reds, 1 yellow, 3 ogs & 1 goal. Did someone tell him he needed to impact games more?— Neil O'Riordan (@noriordan) August 17, 2016
John Delaney is a decent man. All you journalists are the same , jump on a bandwagon to try and crucify him now. https://t.co/zRqsusyZno— Kilkenny Soccer (@KDSLSoccer) August 21, 2016
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Shamrock Rovers boss Stephen Bradley told Dave Donnelly the Hoops are on the verge of putting six or seven goals on a team following the win over Wexford Youths. They went on to beat Athlone Town 5-0 in the Cup.